Is there a good way to ask my boyfriend to go down on me? We've been together for six months, and he never ventures there. He doesn't kiss my thighs, barely touches the bottom half of my stomach — it's totally a mouth-kissing and penetration session whenever we ...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/news/magic-city-kitty-purrs-about-oral-sex http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/news/letters-from-the-issue-of-october-9-2008 Ban Reporters from County Hall

At least if they're vying for six-figure jobs: After reading September 25's "Selling out at the Miami Herald," by Francisco Alvarado and Chuck Strouse, I realized why Miami-Dade County Manager George Burgess always seems to escape accoun...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/news/letters-from-the-issue-of-october-9-2008 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/news/karu-amp-y-why-not Joe, a 46-year-old with a silver-flecked black 'fro and a mouth full of chicken, throws his head back, wipes greasy fingers on his torn blue sleeveless shirt, and busts out a raspy yet solid Jean Stapleton impression of the theme from All in the Family:

Boy, the way Glenn Miller...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/news/karu-amp-y-why-not http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/news/panty-thief-sparks-security-meltdown-at-barry-university It started with a troubled security guard stealing college coeds' underwear. It ended last month with the quiet resignation of the executive director of public safety and two top department officials at the second-largest Catholic university in Florida.

Take, for instance, his version of "Prince o...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/eric-vloeimans-trio http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/mayday Since the last time New Times gave you a behind-the-scenes read about ¡Mayday!, the fellas have still been stretching capacity limits and adding to their brand of Girls Gone Wild-style madness at their second-Friday jam sessions at Jazid. Notable tracks such as "Watching Me" a...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/mayday http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/lee-burridge British beat-juggler Lee Burridge is sort of a freak. Sure, turntablists are known to be an eccentric lot, but it's a safe bet that your average record spinner has never claimed to have done the nasty in a DJ booth, fallen in love with a vodou woman, and bombed around Burning Man on a bicycle whi...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/lee-burridge http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/benny-benassi Better watch your girlfriend around Benny Benassi. Not only is he a suave-looking Italian guy, but also he's a rising star on the dance-music scene who specializes in sexed-up, electro-fueled house sleazefests such as "Who's Your Daddy?" and "I Love My Sex" — you know, just the sort of thin...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/benny-benassi http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/french-electro-pop-act-yelle-hits-the-polish-american-club In the video for "Ce Jeu," a recent song by the French trio Yelle, singer Julie Budet shifts through hyper-color wardrobe changes like a snake shedding skin. One minute she's wearing Nerf sculpture sunglasses; the next, grinding in a bold-stripe duo-chromatic body suit. Minimalism this ain't. But...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/french-electro-pop-act-yelle-hits-the-polish-american-club http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/blowfly It's a sure sign that an album is nasty when it takes a strong stomach just to review it. Miami-bred rapper Blowfly's latest release, Live at the Platypussery, is just that type of hilariously crass disc. It was recorded live in Melbourne, Australia, and it's full of funny yet crude lyrics...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/blowfly http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/abe-vigoda Are you embarrassed around your closest friends? Suffer from unsightly outcroppings of polo shirts and pastels? Every so often do you unintentionally leak enthusiasm for Vampire Weekend? It's all right — Abe Vigoda is here to help. The tropical punk quartet is the next in line, after No Age...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/abe-vigoda http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/nelly Brass Knuckles is Nelly's Thriller. Seriously. Brass Knuckles is not a perfect album, but neither was Thriller. It jumped styles and was not particularly cohesive; similarly, Nelly's fifth CD skips haphazardly from dirty South jams ("Hold Up," featuring T.I.) to G-funk...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/nelly http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/tv-on-the-radio Although the Radio crew's talent is well established, the band's music has always raised user-friendliness questions: Sure, 2006's Return to Cookie Mountain was excellent, but did anyone other than rock critics listen to it? Dear Science tackles this conundrum head-on, upping the ac...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/tv-on-the-radio http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/o-h-w-o-w-it-s-our-house-west-of-wynwood O.H.W.O.W., or Our House West of Wynwood, is both a succinct and unspecific name that sums up the vibe of a new bi-city creative venture on NW Seventh Avenue. A hybrid of art gallery, low-key music venue, publishing house, and art studio, it's a collaboration between local collector and publisher...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/music/o-h-w-o-w-it-s-our-house-west-of-wynwood http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/dining/good-food-at-fair-prices-on-biscayne-boulevard Peru to the Yucatan in 88 blocks. That's the distance on Biscayne Boulevard between the new Sabor a Perú at 29th Street and the relocated Burritos Grill Café at 117th. The former is a small, informal 30-seat space, so clean and shiny it looks like it could be a fast-food joint (form...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/dining/good-food-at-fair-prices-on-biscayne-boulevard http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/film/leonardo-dicaprio-in-body-of-lies A new kind of war movie for a new kind of war, Body of Lies is about the War on Terror as it is being waged on the ground, in the air, but most of all in cyberspace. Directed with terrific verve by Ridley Scott (coming after the listless American Gangster) from a smart screenplay by...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/film/leonardo-dicaprio-in-body-of-lies http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/film/beverly-hills-chihuahua Undersize lapdogs make me grumpy even when they don't talk, wear pink booties, and shop Rodeo Drive. So I came to Beverly Hills Chihuahua with poison pen at the ready — only to be won over by the exuberant charms of Raja Gosnell's comedy about a snobby, privileged Chihuahua named Chl...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/film/beverly-hills-chihuahua http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/nobody-beats-the-wiz The ...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/nobody-beats-the-wiz http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/cheers-to-you-wino Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/cheers-to-you-wino http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/in-case-you-didn-t-know New Times, no one in Miami would know what to do with themselves. When the event is a lecture in south Kendall about Sri Lankan pottery, this is no doubt the c...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/in-case-you-didn-t-know http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/celebrations-in-symphony Festival Miami music series is knocking down prices and spreading its shows to venues across South Florida. The first can’t-believe-elegance...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/celebrations-in-symphony http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/la-dolce-vita Voyage to Italy (1953) — in which a bored English couple takes long, conversation-less walks — becomes, in Italy, an orgy of lyric...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/la-dolce-vita http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/crack-open-a-claw-and-your-wallet Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/crack-open-a-claw-and-your-wallet http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/regatta-on-the-creek Head of the Indian Creek Regatta offers such an experience. This 2.8-mile rowing race against the cloc...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/regatta-on-the-creek http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/it-s-carnival Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/it-s-carnival http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/corking-cyclones-and-bike-lifting Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/corking-cyclones-and-bike-lifting http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/they-ll-make-great-pets Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/they-ll-make-great-pets http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/kickin-it IFC Kickboxing and Mixed Martial Arts bout, taking place this Saturday night at the Miami Mart Airport Hotel. Black-belt martial artists and businessmen Diego Molinari and Kevin Cardona founded...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/kickin-it http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/you-gotta-regatta In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t trying to discover a new land, and there’s major speculation about who actually got here first, but it’s still one of the few pseu...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/you-gotta-regatta http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/the-legendary-laughlin Clarence John Laughlin’s most consistent themes. “He was one of the most awesome artists of the 20th Century,” says Barry Fellman, director of the Center for Visual Communication. “He pushed viewers to find depth a...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/the-legendary-laughlin http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/mystery-meat Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/mystery-meat http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/bail-out-your-aching-back Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/bail-out-your-aching-back http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/not-what-it-s-stacked-up-to-be Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstoo...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/not-what-it-s-stacked-up-to-be http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/damn-the-man Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/damn-the-man http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/style-under-the-sandy-moon Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/style-under-the-sandy-moon http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/the-next-best-thing Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/the-next-best-thing http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/pandora-events-turns-ten Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/calendar/pandora-events-turns-ten http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/culture/art-capsules Excavating Egypt: Great Discoveries from the Petrie Museum

Through November 2. Lowe Art Museum, 1301 Stanford Dr., Coral Gables; 305-284-3535, www.lowemuseum.org

Not your garden-variety tomb raider or occultist crackpot, Sir Will...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/culture/art-capsules http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/culture/actors-playhouse-does-1776 When I saw the new Actors' Playhouse production of 1776, a row of youngsters was seated immediately behind me. Before showtime, they were discussing the election. A 13-year-old boy said, "Don't be stupid. If Obama wins, everyone will love America."

A 10-year-old replied, "Nu...]]> Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-10-09/culture/actors-playhouse-does-1776